I hope you have found Session 1 to 9 helpful in developing more calmness and clarity. We end this program with Mindfulness of Gifts, a gratitude practice helping us stay anchored, helping us navigate the noise in our lives.
Even if the mind tends to go on an overdrive, and if it is difficult to stay focused on a particular part of the body, or it has been a difficult day, we can return to what we can be grateful for in our lives and use that to keep us steady and compassionate.
Transcript
In our final session of this 10-Week Program, we are acknowledging and being mindful of the feelings of gratitude.
Taking a breath.
Allowing the mind to be in the present moment, rather than getting lost in thoughts.
Feeling the breath, the body.
Noticing how you are sitting, standing or lying down.
(Pause)
While keeping the breath in awareness, begin by bringing to the mind a person you are grateful for.
So saying I am grateful for, or I am thankful towards
Acknowledging the feelings that arise as you visualise this person.
(Pause)
Next, bringing to mind a place you are grateful for or where you are most happy, for example in your warm bed.
Acknowledging the feelings that emerge as you visualise being in this place.
(Pause)
Now, bringing to mind an experience you are most grateful or where you were the most joyful, for example having a delicious meal in your favourite restaurant.
Allowing yourself to feel these feelings that arise as you visualise being in that experience.
(Pause)
Before we close this practice, noticing what are you most grateful for right this moment.
Perhaps it’s the fact that you’ve completed this 10-Week Program.
Perhaps it’s the fresh, cool air around you.
Perhaps it’s the fact that it is the weekend.
Immersing in this experience, feeling the moment.
(Pause)
I read you this poem A Gift, by Kathryn Starbuck.
Who is that creature
and who does he want?
Me, I trust. I do not
attempt to call out his
name for fear he will
tread on me. What do
you believe, he asks.
That we all want to be
alone, I reply, except when
we do not; that the world
was open to my sorrow
and ate most of it; that
today is a gift and I am
ready to receive you.
(Pause)
With this, we conclude this 10-Week Pause program. I hope you found it helpful. If you have not gone through some of the sessions, I would encourage you to do so.
Silence is golden, the saying goes. This session is a silent hour of cultivating the capacity to come back home to our being instead of constantly living on a treadmill, on our thoughts and judgements, and relying on external stimuli. Through this process, we are strengthening our muscle to remain calm and to have clarity in everyday life.
The intention of this practice is not to achieve a certain state of mind but merely to just sit in the present moment, with guidance given at the beginning. To do this practice, find a place where you can sit comfortably and uninterrupted for an hour. You may wish to have a shawl or coat or socks on hand in case you’re feeling cold.
This practice is intended to be an hour long or sit as long as you wish, perhaps using an alarm clock to alert you when your intended duration is up.
Transcript
Session 9 is an hour of silence to come back home.
Choosing to sit in a place where you will not be interrupted for an hour.
Checking on the posture.
Spine upright as possible, while maintaining a soft front.
Gently breathing.
Letting the eyes close if you wish.
Bringing to bear what you’ve cultivated from Session 1 to 8.
As best as you can, being in the here and now, in the present moment.
Whenever the mind wanders off to some ideas, conversations, opinions, images, with
care, noting where the mind has gone, and guiding the attention back to the breath.
It’s ok if the mind is very restless.
It’s ok if the mind loses focus.
Each time the mind drifts off, very gently, bringing it back to the breath.
Coming back to the center, coming back home.
(Pause)
Feeling the breath, focusing on the sensation of air flowing in and out of the nostrils.
The rise and fall of the abdomen wall.
(Pause)
It’s also normal to experience an itch or discomfort or even sleepiness, tiredness.
It can be distracting.
Each time this happens, very kindly acknowledging that and bringing the sense of focus back to the breath.
Signaling to the mind you are coming back home.
You may choose to sit still or adjust the posture to relieve any discomfort – doing it slowly and with intention.
And now we will sit in silence.
(Pause)
When you are ready to end this practice, taking a few breaths, letting the eyes open, and slowly taking in the surroundings.
As you get on with your day or evening, bringing this sense of mindfulness to the next few moments.
Thank you and see you in our final session, Week 10.
We practice de-centering by stepping out of mental events (thoughts), by breaking down our experiences (thoughts, emotions, body sensations), and seeing things directly or as they are, impersonal and impermanent, coming and going. By seeing thoughts as just thoughts, emotions as just that, we loosen their grip over us, we create space, and reduce the tendency to get caught up with automatic thinking patterns and unhelpful habitual actions which add to suffering.
Transcript
In Session 8, we are practicing de-centering by observing experiences as they are, without further judgement or needing to cancel out those moments.
(Pause)
Coming to sit, back as upright as possible, chest open, shoulders softening.
Letting the eyes close if you wish, or keeping them open.
Feeling the body, sensing the gravity that keeps the body grounded on the seat.
Feeling the contact points, bum on the seat, feet against the floor or mat, hands on the lap.
Saying, “This is the body sitting on the floor.”
“This is the bum contacting the floor.”
“This is the present moment.”
(Pause)
Acknowledging the breath coming into the nostrils, pausing, exhaling.
Feeling the chest, the belly at each inbreath, and release of the out-breath.
And saying to yourself, “This is the breath”.
“This is breathing.”
(Pause)
While keeping the breath in awareness, tuning the attention to sounds around you.
Noticing how they come and go, changing, pausing.
“This is sound. Just sound.”
“Coming, going, independent of us, not personal.”
(Pause)
Turning toward ourselves, when thoughts are arising, noting them, noting where the mind is going.
Ever changing.
Then saying, “This is a thought.”
“Thinking is happening.”
“Coming, going.”
“It is alright. Nothing more.”
(Pause)
At any moment of the practice, you may feel fidgety, restless or sleepy, or peaceful.
Saying, “Restlessness is here.”
“Sleepiness is here.”
“Peace is here.”
“Arising and disappearing, changing.”
“Nothing more and it is okay.”
(Pause)
Perhaps there may be some sensations present.
Pulsating, tingling, lightness, or maybe heaviness.
Saying, “Heaviness is here.”
Or “Lightness and calm are here.”
“That is ok, sensations are just sensations, nothing more.”
(Pause)
Now expanding the attention to sensing the body as a whole.
Saying, “This is the body sitting here.”
“This is the present moment.”
“Nothing more.”
(Pause)
I read this poem by Haiku master, Kobayashi Issa.
cherry blossoms scatter– snap! the buck’s antlers come off
without regret they fall and scatter… cherry blossoms
(Pause)
In closing this practice, when you are ready, letting the eyes open if they were closed, and taking in the space, gently.
And bringing this sense of de-centering to the next moment of the day or evening.
Distress is a form of energy that is draining, leading you down the path of driven-doing, exhaustion, also possibly avoidance and suppression to keep it together, and disengaging from life.
Stillness is a helpful practice of giving space between our being and that energy, not needing to expend more energy to counter it, thus reducing its grip over us.
Practicing Session 6 beforehand is a helpful foundation for this practice.
Transcript
Session 7, Stillness is about cultivating steadiness instead of reacting to every distraction and distress.
Finding a quiet and private place for this sitting practice.
Finding a position that feels comfortable for you.
Either sitting on a cushion, mat or on a chair.
Sitting with the back as upright as possible.
Hands resting on the knees or in your lap.
(Pause)
Letting the eyes to close.
Or softening the gaze to see a few feet in front of you.
Or keeping the eyes open, perhaps fixed on one spot that is pleasant.
(Pause)
Taking a deep breath, inhaling through the nostrils, exhaling out through them.
One more time.
Taking a deep breath in, pausing, then exhaling.
(Pause)
Now breathing normally, breathing in, pausing, breathing out.
(Pause)
While keeping breathing in awareness, guiding the mind to acknowledging the body.
Bringing awareness to the sensations in the body.
The feeling in the chest area, around the heart and lungs.
The movements in the belly as you are breathing.
Sensing the weight of the body, the pull of gravity.
The contact of the bum on the seat.
The sensations in the feet – tingling, warmth, coolness.
The contact of the feet on the floor.
(Pause)
While keeping the breath and body in awareness, tuning in to sound or sounds around you.
Just hearing them come and go.
Not needing to analyze them.
Just tuning to them like a passing phenomena.
If the mind is starting to get caught up with ideas about what you’re hearing, just bringing the attention back to sounds.
If it’s only silence that you’re hearing, then just hearing the quality of silence as it is.
(Pause)
At any point, It is natural for the mind to start getting busy.
Maybe the mind is experiencing an avalanche of thoughts, images, non-stop, random, fast.
Taking a moment, acknowledging what is happening in the mind.
Treating thoughts like sounds coming, going.
Gently guiding the attention back to feeling the breathing and the weight of the body on the seat.
Bringing the mind back to the body for every single line of thought that comes through.
Not needing to analyze why these thoughts are here.
As best as you can, remaining still even if the mind is urgently calling you to do something.
This is an act of letting go of the power thoughts have over us.
As thoughts are just thoughts.
Not our truths. Not our identity. Not tangible.
As best as you can remaining still, letting the energy pass.
No further action needed.
(Pause)
Feelings may come along with thoughts.
Perhaps a wave of emotions.
Emotions of panic, anxiety, sadness, a sense of emptiness.
Sensations of heaviness, pain.
Taking a breath, acknowledging these feelings with gentleness and care.
As best as you can, bringing awareness to feelings that are arising, giving them space, without needing to judge them.
Treating emotions like sounds, coming, going.
Without needing to analyze why they are here.
As best as you can, remaining still, letting the wave energy come and go.
No further action needed.
(Pause)
If there is any particular part of the body that is experiencing strong sensations.
Perhaps acute pain, a throbbing one or tightness, or a blocked feeling.
To the best you can, taking a moment, bringing kind awareness to the sensation.
Taking a gentle deep breath, breathing in, breathing out into the spot of sensation.
Softening it with care.
Unlocking it.
Pausing.
Taking another gentle deep breath, breathing in, breathing out into the sensation.
Filling it with warmth and kindness.
Remaining as still as you can.
(Pause)
Now, taking a breath in.
Then just sitting here in stillness while letting whatever that is arising be as they are.
No further action needed.
(Pause)
Here is a poem by Octavio Paz, “Between going and staying the day wavers”.
Between going and staying the day wavers,
in love with its own transparency.
The circular afternoon is now a bay
where the world in stillness rocks.
All is visible and all elusive,
all is near and can’t be touched.
Paper, book, pencil, glass,
rest in the shade of their names.
Time throbbing in my temples repeats
the same unchanging syllable of blood.
The light turns the indifferent wall
into a ghostly theater of reflections.
I find myself in the middle of an eye,
watching myself in its blank stare.
The moment scatters.
Motionless,
I stay and go: I am a pause.
A poem by Octavio Paz, “Between going and staying the day wavers”.
(Pause)
Practicing this meditation every day would help cultivate resilience and strengthen the capacity to deal with distress.
I would also encourage you to practice Session 1 to 6 as well to strengthen the foundation of mindfulness.
As we are coming into the second half of this 10-Week Pause, we are practicing allowing things to be as they are. This would refer to thoughts that we have, emotions and physical sensations that are arising so that our next action is not a reactive, hasty one.
It certainly does not mean we passively accept our circumstances and not do anything to rectify.
Rather we give ourselves that pause and merely observing what plays out instead of acting on every impulse, which includes judging. In the process, we are practicing letting go of conditions that are not helpful nor useful, and acting with discernment.
Thoughts, emotions, sensations, impulses are merely conditions, merely physiological outcomes, signals. They’re not tangible. We don’t have to act or be driven by them. Or to be beholden to them like a slave.
Meditation, done regularly, is a powerful way of letting go of attachments, anxieties, sadness and distractions that weigh us down, hold us back, or lead us down an unhealthy path.
Transcript
In Session 6: Allowing, we are practicing sitting with whatever that is arising notably thoughts, emotions, body sensations and impulses to act without judging or doing anything further.
Finding a quiet and comfortable place to sit. Perhaps by now, you’ve established your corner at home or somewhere outside where you can sit peacefully.
Sitting on a cushion, chair or mat, as long as it supports you sitting with your back upright.
Feet can be on the floor or ground, or your legs folding in a cross leg position.
Closing the eyes or lowering the gaze.
(Pause)
Taking a few breaths.
Allowing the mind and body to be here in this present moment.
Inviting the mind to be here.
(Pause)
As best as you can, breathing gently.
Taking your time.
Feeling the breathing.
Noticing the sensations of the air moving into the nostrils.
The belly rising with each inhaling.
The belly falling with each exhaling.
(Pause)
As thoughts, pleasant, unpleasant arising, simply acknowledging them.
No further action needed.
No justification needed.
No positive thinking needed.
No judging required.
Just be with them as they are.
And keeping the sensations of breathing in awareness.
(Pause)
As thoughts are coming and going, there might be emotions arising too.
Perhaps subtle, perhaps strong.
As best as you can, just acknowledging them.
No action needed.
No reasoning needed.
No speculation required.
Just acknowledging, observing.
And keeping the sensations of breathing in awareness.
(Pause)
You may be finding yourself holding on to a particular thought or feeling, perhaps replaying old conversations and events over and over again, as best as you can, visualising them like clouds passing by in the sky.
Dark clouds, white clouds, fluffy, light clouds.
Letting them drift in, drift out.
Observing like a third party, a spectator, rather than as the actor in the play.
(Pause)
If you are noticing any sensations or tension in the body, breathing into that spot, softening the sensation, breathing out, letting go.
Allowing yourself to let that go.
As sensations are merely that, sensations.
(Pause)
Now allow me to read this poem to you.
The Trees, by Philip Larkin
The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.
Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.
Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.
(Pause)
After each breath, after each thought, feeling, it’s a moment of rebirth.
A chance to start anew.
A chance to make good in the here and now for the future.
So not squandering the moment.
Letting go the past because it’s the past.
Letting go of the future as it’s not here yet.
When you are ready to end the meditation, taking a few deep breaths, gently opening the eyes.
Taking a moment, noticing what feelings are here.
As best as you can, bringing the sense of being with you into the rest of the day.
Meditation is a practice, and it may take time and patience to cultivate the ability to let go of attachments and distractions.
Being gentle with yourself, and trusting that with consistent practice, you will develop steadiness and peace.
From a mindfulness perspective, the need for things to be in a particular way or for situations to be different, amplified by the act of rumination, leads us down the path of distress and dissatisfaction, and over time, adds to our vulnerability.
Distress is characterized by a combination of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations – anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, disappointment, regret, guilt.
There’s a discrepancy monitor in our brain that tells us where we may be short of, accurately or inaccurately, therefore sparking attachment, craving or desire.
Attachment would be craving or clinging on for pleasant feelings, for example the ensuing feelings of being acknowledged, so we’ll do whatever it takes to feel included such as doing something dishonest. Even avoiding something is an act of attachment. We’re attached to the feeling of stability.
It gets unhealthy when there is a loss of balance, a skewed perception of our situation, acting unwisely to the detriment of ours and others’ wellbeing, or refusing to engage with life.
So this practice is about becoming aware of the root of our distress and dissatisfaction ie attachments, and towards the end, I’d encourage you to check out the home practice to investigate starting to let go of attachments.
Over time you might notice that attachments are unlimited. Even if one craving is resolved, another would arise. So we’d be stuck in this endless loop unless we learn the skills to let go. More would be covered in the next session.
Transcript
Beginning this mindfulness meditation Session 5 – Mindfulness of Attachments, by settling into a comfortable sitting meditation posture, as best as you can.
(Pause)
In our mindfulness meditations, we’re not striving for any particular state of mind.
It’s ok if you are not feeling calm.
It’s ok if you are not feeling at peace.
It’s ok if you are feeling unsettled.
It’s ok if you are feeling bored.
It’s ok if you have many, many thoughts coming through.
The practice is not a waste as you’re training the mind, practicing to be at ease in any circumstances.
All the doing you need is just observing.
Watching as an audience how thoughts, emotions and moods are arising and passing.
Watching physical sensations or the energy in the body – arising, passing.
(Pause)
So keeping the back as straight as you can.
A firm spine.
Shoulders falling down, softening.
A soft front.
Eyes closing or softly focusing.
(Pause)
Beginning with mindfulness of breathing and the body.
Taking a few breaths, allowing the mind to settle.
Breathing, feeling the core of the being, below the belly button.
As you are inhaling, the belly wall expanding.
As you are exhaling, the belly wall contracting.
As you are breathing in, and then out, feeling the area below the belly button.
That’s the house of vitality, the store house of energy.
Each time the mind is wandering off, reminding the mind to return to the lower belly.
And then breathing in, breathing out.
(Pause)
If for some reason, breathing seems a labour, perhaps causing some anxiety.
As best as you can, just observing whatever that is arising.
And then guiding the mind to the area below the belly button.
Placing the attention there.
Or choosing another area of the body that feels safe, like the fingers, the toes, the spinal cord.
(Pause)
Now while keeping the breath and body in awareness, noticing any thoughts, emotions or physical sensations that are arising.
(Pause)
As best as you can, observing with gentleness.
So watching thoughts as if you are a witness.
Watching emotions as if a third party.
Acknowledging physical sensations, whether pleasant or unpleasant, with gentleness.
Watching whatever ensuing emotions or thoughts without judging yourself for having them.
(Pause)
As you are becoming more aware of thoughts and emotions, noticing what is recurring.
Noticing what the mind is getting caught up about?
Who keeps coming to mind?
What events and scenes keep replaying?
Thoughts are getting tangled up?
Replaying the past?
Speculating about the future?
Opinions of certain people, events, ideas?
As best as you can, observing the phenomenon with curiosity.
(Pause)
Then when opinions arise, what happens after that?
More thoughts, more sadness, more anger, more worry?
Or perhaps peace, calmness, love?
Noticing for any physical sensations?
(Pause)
Whatever that keeps replaying represent an underlying attachment.
So just observing what is arising.
Just watching, not judging yourself further for whatever that has arisen.
You don’t have to approve or disapprove whatever that is here.
No further action is needed except to just sit and acknowledge all that is arising.
(Pause)
If there is a sense of feeling overwhelmed, you may choose slightly shifting the posture mindfully, or opening the eyes, or gently guiding the mind, focusing on breathing and feeling the body.
(Pause)
As we are closing this practice, letting go the focus on thoughts, and guiding the mind to the breath and belly.
Feeling the sensations of breathing — inhaling, exhaling.
(Pause)
I read you this poem: You Won’t Know, by Wilkes Arnold
It’s the still nights, the stormy nights
When I want a cigarette
To spark life in my breath,
When sleep seems dead set
On avoiding me.
It leaves me asking why?
I don’t even smoke.
(Pause)
Taking a moment to expressing gratitude for the time you’ve spent practicing to care for yourself.
Recognising this is an opportunity to cultivate awareness about our root of suffering, and how we add to our suffering.
After doing this practice on a daily basis, you may wish to write down your observations.
Dividing the page into four columns — labelling them as thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and impulses and actions.
In the first column, Thoughts, writing down what thoughts kept repeating, grouping them under themes if necessary.
In the second column, Emotions, writing down the accompanying emotions to thoughts.
Same in the third column, Body Sensations, listing down the accompanying sensations.
In the fourth column, Impulses and Actions, write down what you feel like doing as a result of these thoughts, emotions and sensations. Noticing any actions that are keeping us locked in a cycle. Even avoiding a situation is an action that locks us in dissatisfaction as we do not address the issue upfront.
As you are reading through what you have written down, picking up the most pressing experience, the one that is giving you the most distress.
For example, selecting thoughts that have words like “should”, “must”, “have to”, “need to”, something with judgement.
Then asking yourself these four questions:
The first question is: What would it mean for you to hold on to those views?
Second question: What is the consequence of holding on to those views to yours and others’ wellbeing?
Third question: What would it mean to let go of those views?
Fourth question: What is the consequence to yours and others’ wellbeing if you let go of those views?
(Pause)
To close this, I would like to invite you to consider meditation as a lifelong practice.
Mindfulness is a lifelong journey.
The patience we are exercising, the curiosity instead of judgment we are bringing to bear, is the practice, the training.
So that all this instinctively becomes us.
We do not have to think so hard about it nor need to cognitively justify having to feel patience and kindness whenever we need to call upon it.
The power to sway our emotions, trigger physical sensations, compelling us to act in a certain way, such as quit our jobs, drop out of school, use aggression, numb out.
For example, we come home to find a messy place, and instantly have the thought “My husband messed up again!”
If we become gripped by that thought or believe it, our mood changes. All the positive qualities of your husband or the gratefulness to have a beautiful home are quickly forgotten.
Therefore mindfulness of thoughts and mind states involves paying attention to the thoughts that arise and observing them without needing to judge or take further action.
We are developing the capacity to see thoughts as just that, like emotions and weather patterns. Coming, going, merely products of the mind.
Some thoughts may be seasonal, some more sticky, leading us to understanding triggers, which reflect deep-seated attachments and aversion.
It is attachments/aversions, the need for things to be in a particular way e.g. “I must be rich”, “It’s her turn – she should take the trash out” that bring us to distress.
By practicing allowing things as they are, we do not need to be gripped by them, and can find our way forward more wisely.
This does not mean that we do not attempt to improve our circumstances. We are merely taking stock and working with how things are instead of against them which could be unnatural, unnecessarily uncomfortable or not aligned with our true values.
Look out for the assignment towards the end of the meditation guide.
Transcript
Session 4, Mindfulness of Thoughts, where we are paying attention to words, voices, images, conversations that play and replay in the mind.
In this practice, we are not striving to be in a particular state of mind like calmness.
There is no failure or success in this practice.
We are merely observing and noting what comes to mind, and just allowing them to pass without further action.
So for example, if the mind says you should just abandon this practice and go get that cup of coffee, all you are needing to do is observing those thoughts and any impulses to act.
(Pause)
Finding a comfortable place for sitting.
Closing the eyes or keeping them open, as you wish.
(Pause)
Beginning by bringing your consciousness to breathing.
Becoming conscious of the sensations of breathing as the breath is entering and leaving the body.
(Pause)
While keeping the breath in awareness, dropping the attention down to the body, feeling the pull of gravity keeping it grounded securely on the seat.
(Pause)
Feeling the belly wall, feeling it rising at each in-breath, and collapsing at each out-breath.
Just breathing as what the body is calling to you.
Feeling the gentle rhythm of breathing.
(Pause)
It is very normal and natural for the mind to wonder.
While keeping the breath and body in awareness, simply observing thoughts as they arise.
Noticing the content.
Images.
Past conversations.
Conversations to be had.
Things to do.
Judgments about yourself.
Or maybe about others – “If only she did this.”
Watching thoughts like a spectator sitting at a distance.
Not getting caught up in the drama.
(Pause)
If at any point it is feeling overwhelming focusing on thoughts and emotions, gently guiding the mind back to the breath and body.
And when you are ready, allowing yourself to noticing thoughts again while keeping the body in awareness.
(Pause)
Noticing the pace of thoughts arising.
Is it a running tape of a particular narrative?
Or sporadic, random thoughts, popping up?
Or perhaps a bit of both.
(Pause)
Noticing as these thoughts arise, what emotions accompany them?
And what sensations in the body are arising?
Bringing a sense of curiosity, beginner’s mind of feeling these sensations.
Even if they feel familiar.
Not needing to criticize yourself for having these feelings.
They may be welcoming, unwelcoming, or somewhere in between.
Merely observing, not needing to take further action.
It may feel tempting to stop this practice and get on with your life.
The invitation is to pause and staying here, as best as you can.
(Pause)
Remember there is an option of gently guiding the mind back to the breath and body if you are finding thoughts to be getting too much.
(Pause)
As you are continuing with this practice, noticing any particular, recurring patterns.
That are keeping coming, going and returning.
Making a mental note of them, with gentleness.
(Pause)
Now, guiding the mind back to the breath and body.
Feeling the landscape of the body mass.
(Pause)
In closing this practice, here is a poem “The Peace of Wild Things” by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives might be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
(Pause)
Now taking a beautiful deep breath, and slowly allowing the eyes to open if they were closed.
Taking the time to observe your surroundings – shapes, colours, texture, sounds.
(Pause)
Now, here is an assignment that you can do after this practice on a daily basis.
Writing down the thoughts and judgments that were frequently replaying in the mind.
And asking yourself these four questions:
First: What were some frequent thoughts that had words, like “should”, “must”, “have to”, “always”?
Second: Do these thoughts lead you to more doing and doing, or perhaps lead you to avoiding and numbing out?
Third: How is this helpful for your quality of life?
A regular or daily practice could help us develop a greater awareness of what thoughts sour our moods and lead us further down the spiral of exhaustion, depression and anxiety.
With this wisdom, we are developing a greater appreciation that we don’t have to believe everything the mind says. Or create more space between us and our thoughts.
Thoughts are merely thoughts, nothing more.
Go well, thank you and tune in to Session 5 next Wednesday.
Mindfulness of emotions is about observing the passing of emotions and emotional states, and the body sensations or feelings that accompany them, with gentleness, with playfulness if you like.
Through this practice together with mindfulness of the body on a daily basis, we begin to develop the ability to sense the onset of recurring, lifelong distress such as anxiety and depression. With this intelligence, we can take preventive steps such as more self-care than usual before a full blown episode.
Also we begin to really appreciate that emotions, feelings are dynamic, they are not our identity, they are not us, they are merely conditions that we are experiencing. Like weather patterns – we just accept them as they are and know when to bring the umbrella out with us.
The capacity for this diffusion means that we can choose not to be gripped by unwelcome emotions.
You are encouraged to practice Session 2 as well.
Transcript
In this session, Mindfulness of Emotions, we are practicing viewing emotions as what they are — just emotions — with a sense of kindness, gentleness and playfulness if you wish.
(Pause)
Finding a comfortable sitting place, perhaps in your bedroom, or even in the bus or train.
Allowing the eyes to close if you wish.
Inviting the mind to feeling the posture of the body.
Where are the legs?
Where are the hands?
As best as you can, sitting as upright as possible.
The head feeling a sense of balance.
Shoulders softening.
A soft front.
A straight back, not stiff.
Allowing the breath, the energy, an easy flow through the body.
(Pause)
Bringing the attention to breathing, allowing the attention to rest there.
The mind may get pulled away by thoughts, that is perfectly normal.
What we are needing to do is bringing the mind back to the motion of breathing, while feeling the body.
Acknowledging the body as you are inhaling, and then exhaling.
Feeling the belly rising with each inhaling, belly wall collapsing with each exhaling.
Breathing at a pace that calls to you.
Using the body to help you feel grounded and solid.
(Pause)
When you are ready, while keeping the breath in awareness, shifting the attention, very lightly, to the general sense of feelings that are here right this moment.
Feelings of pleasantness?
Or perhaps feelings of unpleasantness?
Or maybe feelings of neutral, or of no particular feeling?
(Pause)
Once you’ve sensed this general feeling, diving deeper, what would you label it?
Feelings of pleasantness for example calmness, stillness, peace.
Feelings of unpleasantness, for example restlessness, impatience, resentment.
Maybe feelings of neutral, neither pleasant nor unpleasant, not happy, not sad.
(Pause)
One more step deeper, feeling the intensity of the emotion.
Strong, light, moderate?
Familiar, unfamiliar?
Just noticing without adding any judgment to it for example, what you need to do to fix this feeling.
Not needing to subtract anything from this experience, for example, judging that you need to push this feeling away.
Not needing to justify the reason and source of this experience.
We’re only needing to view this emotion as it is.
Only needing to give space or to cradle this emotion without adding opinions or trying to push it away.
Like a bird is a bird.
A tree is a tree.
Happiness is happiness.
Sadness is sadness.
Merely an emotion, a condition, a weather pattern.
Nothing more.
(Pause)
If at any point, you are feeling overwhelmed, perhaps zooming out the attention slightly away from emotions to have more space, and if you wish to experimenting, viewing the emotions with a sense of playfulness.
“Ah, it is here again.”
“Oh there you are.”
“Hello, my friend.”
Noticing what happens when we continue to sit with emotions, not judging them, not needing to act on them.
(Pause)
There is also the option of mindfully shifting the posture to feel more at ease.
Or opening the eyes.
Or guiding the attention back to the breath or a body part that feels welcoming and safe, for example, the belly, the toes, fingers.
(Pause)
When you are ready as we are closing this practice, shifting the awareness to the breath and body in general.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I read you this poem — The Guest House, by Jalaludin Rumi.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
In practicing mindfulness, the body has a central role to play as it is connected to the mind where both are in constant communication. Interpretations of past experiences, memories, pain, trauma can leave an imprint on the body. They don’t just remain in the recesses of the mind.
So by being in tune with what is going on in the body offers another perspective to help with healing and therapy.
You are gaining, what mindfulness practitioners call, direct experience of your emotional state as it manifests in the feeling of body sensations, rather than evaluating, speculating in the mind about one’s emotional state (indirect experience).
Here are other characteristics of the body that helps in cultivating mindfulness.
The body does not lie. The mind on the other hand could be playing tricks, and is by default designed to wander, to dream of ideas, to have an opinion. Otherwise we could never progress as a civilization!
The body does not judge — our elbows for example do not tell us off.
The body remains in the present moment — once a physical pain is actually gone, it is gone but the mind could be replaying the pain. Therefore we could still manifest hurt.
By gaining wisdom from the body, by pausing to really feel and appreciate the body, one cultivates the foundation to investigate attachments and aversions that make us vulnerable to suffering.
This practice may be down sitting up or lying down. You may choose to experiment with either at different times of practicing.
p/s you may hear birds chirping in the background.
Transcript
This is Session 2, Mindfulness of Body, which builds on Session 1 Consciousness of Breath.
So….
Coming to sit in a quiet and comfortable place.
Or lying down on the bed or sofa, if you wish.
Legs stretched out or crossed, depending on what’s comfortable for you right this moment.
Choosing closing the eyes, or simply lowering the gaze to see a few feet ahead.
Or if you wish, keeping them open if it feels easier.
(Pause)
Beginning by taking a few breaths, slowing, steadying as best as you can, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling from it.
Or the mouth if it’s that is easier for you.
(Pause)
Becoming conscious of how the body is taking in air, and expelling.
Noticing what body part is moving — not judging, just observing, as we are breathing.
The rising and falling of the belly at each in-breath and then at the out-breath
Noticing the pauses between each breath.
Whenever the mind wanders off, very intentionally bringing it back to the breath.
Noticing if the breath is deep, shallow or may be somewhere in between, not judging, not needing to breathe in any particular way, nor needing to have a particular view about how one should breathe.
(Pause)
In this Session 2 Mindfulness of Body, we guide the attention to the body, keeping it in the foreground of the attention, while keeping the breath in the awareness, like in the background.
(Pause)
Feeling the face, the chest, the upper arms, lower arms, fingers, legs, toes.
Feeling the weight of the body as it rests on the chair or mat.
Feeling the feet on the floor or the legs crossed.
Noticing where you have placed your arms — on the lap or perhaps at the side.
Placing them in a way that is comfortable for you.
(Pause)
Whenever the mind wanders off, just bringing the attention back to the body.
Noticing any particular sensations in the body such as tingling, warmth, coolness, tension, discomfort, ease.
I would like to invite you to just observe these sensations, as best as you can, with gentleness, with slowness, without needing to judge, comment or have an opinion about these sensations.
They may be pleasant, unpleasant, neutral, it is ok.
If there is any particular strong discomfort, it may help breathing into the sensation and out as you scan that part of the body, as best as you can with kindness.
If you can’t help judging the experience, it’s ok, you don’t need to justify nor add anything positive to cancel out any negative opinions.
Negative views are just what they are, negative.
Sensations are just what they are, sensations – welcoming, unwelcoming, or simply neutral.
Just allowing them to be here as they are, as best as you can.
(Pause)
Breathing in, perhaps saying “I’m aware of the body.”
And then breathing out, “This is a body.”
Without needing to identify that this is MY body.
(Pause)
When you are ready, starting from the feet, as you are breathing in, feeling the air coming in through the toes of both feet like a flow of energy being sucked into the body
This flow may be a sensation of warmth or is a visualisation of light scanning the body
At the out breath, the flow of energy scanning, feeling the soles of the feet
Then in to the ankles,
Sweeping the feeling upwards to the shin,
Further up to the knees,
Another in-breathe when you are ready,
And at the out-breath, the flow of energy sweeping slowly through the thighs, feeling the thighs
(Pause)
At the inbreath, bringing this flow of energy to around the pelvic area,
Pausing here, breathing into the pelvic area, and out, taking your time, feeling the pelvic area
Breathing out, energy flowing to the back, moving up the lower spine,
While breathing normally, slowly, gently, directing the energy or warmth upwards and feeling the spine
Behind the neck,
To the back of the skull
To the top, the crown of the head,
(Pause)
From the top of the head, at the out breath, the sense or feeling of energy or warmth downwards
This flow of energy, warm sensation, coming down, feeling the the expanse of the forehead
Bridge of the nose, tip
Mouth, lips
Chin, spreading sideways across the jaw bone to the ear lobes
Energy filling our ears, then taking an in-breath and out-breath,
(Pause)
Energy flowing down to the neck,
Then feeling the collarbone
The chest
Pausing, breathing into the chest, out of the chest, gently
Flow of energy, warmth flowing downward to the belly, ending there, as if storing the energy in the belly
If you wish, placing both hands on the belly, just beneath the belly button, holding this space for yourself
As you are breathing in and breathing out.
Just resting in this posture,
Feeling the rising of the belly at the in-breath
Falling or contraction of the belly wall at the out-breath.
Whenever you notice the mind wandering, gently bringing consciousness to breathing and feeling the belly.
And sitting here in silence.
Nothing else to do, nothing to fix, nothing to have an opinion about.
(Pause)
As you are coming to the end of this recording, taking a moment, appreciating that you are taking time to hold space for yourself.
Allow me to read this poem — Body Remember by Constantine Cavafy
Body, remember not only how much you were loved not only the beds you lay on. but also those desires glowing openly in eyes that looked at you, trembling for you in voices- only some chance obstacle frustrated them. Now that it’s all finally in the past, it seems almost as if you gave yourself to those desires too-how they glowed, remember, in eyes that looked at you, remember, body, how they trembled for you in those voices.
(Pause)
Now when you are ready, slowly opening the eyes or lifting the gaze.
Taking the time to appreciate the sights and sounds around you, moving with intention to the next activity.
If you wish to continue with this practice in silence, please feel free to do so.
Mindfulness meditation is a practice that is to be cultivated, requiring patience and kindness.
Just keep coming back to the breath and body whenever you notice the mind wandering off or when frustration or restlessness emerges.
I would encourage you to practice this Mindfulness of Body on a daily basis in cultivating attention.
This is Session 1 of a 10-Week Pause program that we have developed.
Mindfulness practitioners have several definitions of mindfulness. The one I use is about waking up (paying attention) to the present moment with the attitude of gentleness (kindness) and curiosity (beginner’s mind), and intention of right effort, the Goldilocks effort (not tight concentration, not zoning out).
So the foundation of mindfulness is becoming conscious of what’s going on, be it internally and externally, and placing our attention where we want it to be and where we think is most helpful for our wellbeing.
In this session, we practice becoming conscious of breathing.
This practice is about waking up to the present moment and building up our capacity to steady the mind.
Each time a thought comes to the mind, an opinion, an idea, image, or a distraction surfacing, we would be re-directing the mind back to the activity of breathing.
Why the breath?
Because it gives us life. It is an activity closest, most intimate and up, close to us.
If during the practice you are finding it difficult to breathe properly, perhaps you have a cold; or paying attention to the breath is usually uncomfortable, you could play with a few possibilities.
Meditation guidance(transcript)
When you’re ready, coming to sit, with a posture as upright as possible without tensing, without being too relaxed.
You may be sitting on a chair with both feet on the floor, or seated cross-legged, in a position that is comfortable for you right this moment.
You may also sit on a mat on the floor.
Having your eyes closed is fine, or keeping them open.
The intention is directing the attention to breathing at a pace that feels right for you in the moment, with consciousness and care.
If it’s easier breathing through the mouth, that’s fine to do so.
The mind will wonder, and that is ok.
Jon Kabat Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction says: “If the mind wanders a thousand times your only job is to bring it back a thousand times.”
Now noticing the breath coming in.
Is it cool or warm breath?
Noticing how the air fills the nose or mouth.
How the chest moves to take in and process the air.
How the stomach is expanding.
Pausing.
And when we are exhaling, the belly collapsing, the chest processing the air, and out it is going through the nose or mouth.
Pausing.
Breathe at a pace and depth that is gentle for you right this moment.
If you feel like breathing deeply, that is fine.
If you feel like doing long exhales, that is ok too.
If you’re finding it difficult to breathe properly due to a cold or sinus issues, just do the best you can with gentleness.
As best as you can, just staying with the breath even if it’s very rapid, shallow breathing.
Shifting your posture if need be and becoming conscious of the decision and action to move.
Whenever the mind is travelling, bringing it back to the breath with care.
Noticing the full motion of breathing – starting from the point of contact between air and the nose or mouth.
Slowly inhaling.
Down to the belly.
Pausing.
And then exhaling with consciousness.
Mind wandering is normal. Distraction is also common.
Just firmly and kindly escorting the attention back to the breath.
And as best as you can, staying with breathing.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable or sleepy, perhaps experimenting with shifting your posture or opening your eyes.
If the mind is persistently distracted by something, noticing with conscious what that is, and how you are responding to it.
Here is a poetry for you.
The Breath is Life’s Teacher, by Donna Martin
Observe me, says the Breath, and learn to live effortlessly in the Present Moment.
Feel me, says the Breath, and feel the Ebb and Flow of Life.
Allow me, says the Breath, and I’ll sustain and nourish you, filling you with energy and cleansing you of tension and fatigue.
Move with me, says the Breath, and I’ll invite your soul to dance.
Make sounds with me and I shall teach your soul to sing.
Follow me, says the Breath, and I’ll lead you out to the farthest reaches of the Universe, and inward to the deepest parts of your inner world.
And we come to a close of this practice of Consciousness of Breathing.
If you wish to continue sitting, by all means do so.
You may also replay this recording to practice anywhere, any time.
Thank you and look out for Session 2’s recording next Wednesday.
Kindermind Center 